When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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