I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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