i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
