my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
