Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
