she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
