I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
