Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
