Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
