Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
