i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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