Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
