that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't deserve a penis
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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