was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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