She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize