Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
