I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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