He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
