the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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