she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
