im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
