I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize