Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
