and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
