You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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