yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
