the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
