This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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