You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize