Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
