Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
