i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Pinterest knows Iβm getting divorced
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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