took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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