Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
this just has baby written all over it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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