I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
