They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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