I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize