And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
