i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
