Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
