he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
