Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
