im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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