i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
