You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
there's paper in my vomit.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
