just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
