It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
