How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
