Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
