mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
