So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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