Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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