yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
