i think my tv is drunk
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize