I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
