I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
