if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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