Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
