i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
