Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
